Living in a different country isn’t always sunshine and roses. Sometimes the experience is a complete emotional rollercoaster. One moment, you’re all thrilled and tickled with the newness of it all – the sights and sounds, the new people you’re meeting, all the fun you’re having. The next moment, something happens that throws you for a loop, knocks you on your ass, and literally leaves you cursing the ground you stand on. Most times, though, the good experiences outweigh the bad, and the bad experiences just turn into funny stories that you share with friends over drinks.
But sometimes, the bad feelings don’t just blow over. Sometimes everything about your host country works your last effing nerve. Sometimes the potent combination of: being isolated from family and friends, not speaking the language, confusing cultural differences, climactic anomalies and missing ‘normal’ food becomes way too much to bear. And as the days and weeks pass without any sign of your situation improving, you find yourself seriously wondering if you should just call it quits, pack up and go back home where you belong.
Since I’ve actually experienced the scenario above (and talked myself out of a one-way plane ticket home), I thought I’d share some suggestions for dealing with the post-honeymoon phase; or, as i like to call it: ‘a survival guide for expats who’ve considered repatriation when the novelty wasn’t enuf’.
7 Ways to Cope When You Hate Your Host Country
Don’t lash out – Often, the reception you get from the locals in your host country can feel less than hospitable. It can be tempting and sometimes, warranted, to fight fire with fire, picking a fight with anyone who rubs you the wrong way. Fighting the good fight day in and day out, however, quickly becomes exhausting. You’re constantly on edge, waiting for the next person to ‘make your day’. You’ll end up wearing yourself down long before you wear them down. My advice: even if you’re getting bad energy from people, resist the urge to give it back. At least not too harshly. In short, throwing shade is cool. Throwing epithets and punches, not so much.
Remember the reason – Why’d you want to move to another country in the first place? Is that reason still valid? Have you strayed from your original goal? Do you need to set a new goal to help motivate you?
What are some ways that you’ve battled the expat blues? How do you know when it’s time to throw in the towel and head back home? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Great article. One of the suggested FB groups “solo women travelers” has had more than a few racial incidents. Much of it from the groups founder. Certainly not recommended or welcoming for ppl of color.
Thanks, Francesca! Glad you liked the post. Oh, no! I haven’t seen any of those incidents since I’ve been a part of the Solo Women Travelers group – hopefully I never will. Sorry to hear that you had to be exposed to that kind of nonsense.
That is completely untrue… I am a blk women and an active member of the group….those group of women varying age…ethnic group… And age..do nothing but support…. The meanest women in the group…who never has anything good to say is blk…